[Article & Audio] 6 Tips to Negate Negative Nellies
6 Tips to Negate Negative Nellies
If you’re the first in your family or group of friends to go the professional career-person route, don’t
be surprised if the people who know you from before refuse to believe that you can make it big in the corporate world.
Taking the leap of faith to make the move from employee to management can be a daunting challenge, and the last thing you need as you pluck up the courage to go for it is a bunch of naysayers running around telling you that you’re sure to fail.
But why would people who say they love you and want the best for you go out of their way to derail your dreams?
Taking the leap of faith to make the move from employee to management can be a daunting challenge, and the last thing you need as you pluck up the courage to go for it is a bunch of naysayers running around telling you that you’re sure to fail.
But why would people who say they love you and want the best for you go out of their way to derail your dreams?
Because it’s easier for them if you stay tucked away in your nice little employee box... that nice little box they’re used to you being in.
When you take those first big steps into the management world, you intimidate them.
If you make it (which you will), then what excuse do they have for not trying?
Correct answer: none.
Just remember: you don’t need their permission to do what you need to do.
And you don’t need their pessimism, either. But if you’re willing to stand up for yourself, you won’t have to deal with it.
So if this is the situation you find yourself in, here are 6 tips to help you negate the Negative Nellies in your life.
So if this is the situation you find yourself in, here are 6 tips to help you negate the Negative Nellies in your life.
1) Play Stay-Away.
If you can, put physical space
between yourself and the people who refuse to believe in you. Constantly being subjected to their doubts will only cause you to start to doubt yourself... and if you don’t believe you’re going to succeed, no one will.
And if you can’t actually get away, then, as gently as you can manage, tell them that while you know you don’t have their support, you do expect their respect. Then tell them to bugger off. (Just kidding. Try your best not to do that, tempting though it may be.)
And if you can’t actually get away, then, as gently as you can manage, tell them that while you know you don’t have their support, you do expect their respect. Then tell them to bugger off. (Just kidding. Try your best not to do that, tempting though it may be.)
2) Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive.
Take a page out of the great Johnny Mercer’s songbook: you’ve got to accentuate the positive,
eliminate the negative. Once you’ve cleared out the negative people, it’s time to find the positive ones.
Surround yourself with folks who believe in you and in what you’re trying to do, because it’s their support and encouragement—which means “to put in heart”—that’ll keep you going when the going gets tough. Which it will.
Because if being in management were easy, everyone would do it.
3) Never explain, never justify.
You don’t need to justify yourself, your goals, or your choices to anyone. If someone questions what you’re trying to accomplish, just tell them, “This is my life, my decision, and my choice.”
Correct answer: of course you are.
One of the best things about being a career professional is that the decisions and choices are yours to make.
And one of the hardest things about being a career professional is that the decisions and choices are yours to make. So in the end it comes down to just one thing: are you up to the challenge?
Correct answer: of course you are.
4) Keep it to yourself.
If you know anyone who thinks you’ve lost your mind for going after your big dreams and goals, don’t give them the chance to corner you and bring you down to their level.
Avoid talking about your plans around them, and if they try to bring it up, start talking about something else. (Talk about the weather if you want to keep it polite; politics or religion if you’re spoiling for a fight.)
5) Their doubt = your motivation.
If someone doubts you, use their doubt to motivate yourself. Maybe that means making a private bet with yourself that you’ll succeed, or just promising yourself that you’ll prove your doubters wrong.
Either way, don’t let their doubts sway your determination, because the truth is, what they think doesn’t matter.
The only thing that matters is what YOU think… and then what you DO to reach your goals.
Don't let someone who gave up on their
dreams talk you out of yours.
— Zig Ziglar
— Zig Ziglar
6) Give yourself a break.
Hustling hard on the way to your goals can be a lonely path to walk, so take a break
every once in a while to recover.
Then when you’re ready to crank it up again, remind yourself of why you’re going after these dreams, think about how far you’ve already come, and make sure your plan of action is still the right path to get you where you want to go.
• • •
Negative Nellies are everywhere, lurking around corners and pretending to “tell you the truth for your own good.”
They might be your family, your friends, or even people who see you as competition, but never doubt that they're out there, waiting (and maybe even hoping) for you to fail.
It’s easier said than done sometimes, but if you aim to succeed, it’s up to you to ignore their negativity and get on with living your life the way you want.
It’s easier said than done sometimes, but if you aim to succeed, it’s up to you to ignore their negativity and get on with living your life the way you want.
About the Author
✈✈
Gina Longo is a former airline captain and flight instructor who flew as pilot in command on 3000+ flights and carried more than 75,000 people (and many pets) safely to their destinations. She then moved to Great Britain to instruct corporate pilots, later spending three years as an international solo traveller.
As a leadership development trainer and the creator of The Calmfident Leadership® System, she specializes in helping businesses reduce employee turnover by improving leadership skills, so bad bosses don't drive away good employees.
Her great love is German Shepherds, and as a proud U.S. Air Force brat, she tends to answer the question "Where are you from?" with an enigmatic "It depends."
As a leadership development trainer and the creator of The Calmfident Leadership® System, she specializes in helping businesses reduce employee turnover by improving leadership skills, so bad bosses don't drive away good employees.
Her great love is German Shepherds, and as a proud U.S. Air Force brat, she tends to answer the question "Where are you from?" with an enigmatic "It depends."
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